When will I ever catch a break? Well technically I did catch a “brake” two of them, as the car came to an enormous halt and my ex shouts “Get the f**k out!” I grabbed my daughter, only ten months at the time, and unlatched the car seat. As I went to grab my purse he sped off before I could take it out, typical. So, how did I get to this position? On the side of the road dragging a 20-pound steel framed Graco 4-Ever car seat with one hand and carrying a 20-pound baby on the other?
So, abusive ex (number two) decides to invite me out to lunch. For the first time, in a very…very long time, he was actually paying the bill. (Probably because he had sucked my wallet dry and knew there was no other option but for him to pay). He pulls up to my house, with his little sister in the front seat, and notices a truck parked right in front of my house. I think nothing of it, yet he doesn’t…
He begins to yell at me before we even get down the street! “Whose truck is that?” “Who did you have over?” “You invited someone over didn’t you!” My parents had just left for the weekend so I had the house to myself. Yet the truck parked out front, I later found out, was a cousin of my neighbors who decided to come over. They just so happened to park their truck right in front of my house. I kept telling him over and over that I had no idea whose truck that was and that I’ve been home alone this whole time with the baby.
He didn’t believe me.
As he is speeding on the freeway he continues with the questioning (more like harassing). My daughter begins to cry, most likely from all the screaming. This is where it takes a turn for the worst. [No pun intended] I tell him, “Can you just stop? Stop with all the yelling!” Oh, he stopped alright, on the side of the freeway! He begins yelling for me to “get the f**k out! Take your sh*t and leave!” his younger sister crying, telling him to “Stop! She has a baby, stop being like this!” (this isn’t the first time she’s witnessed his behavior but we will get to that in another post), and yet… he speeds away.
I was about half a mile away from the nearest freeway exit, I had no other option but to walk. Walk in the sweltering 90-degree California weather. Since he sped off with my purse I had no money to call for a taxi, to buy a bottle of water for my daughter, nothing.
So, you may be wondering:
“This must be the reason why you dumped him”
Sadly, no, it wasn’t.
After I finally made it to the air-conditioned gas station, I decided to call for someone to come and get us. I called my ex’s mom. I had no other option. I knew my parents, 150 miles away soaking up the sun at the beach, weren’t going to get here fast enough, and I didn’t have any money for a taxi ride home. When she got there, twenty minutes later, all she could do was apologize for her son’s behavior… Meanwhile, he is still at the sandwich shop eating, without a care in the world.
Not once did he call to apologize, not once did he even turn around to pick us up. He literally went to eat with his sister, as if he hadn’t done anything wrong. And when his mother told him she dropped me off at my house, he didn’t even come over.
Yet, I still stayed with him. After three days of not communicating I was the one who texted him first, I was the one saying sorry for “not talking to him the past three days”, me! And our “relationship” continued…
Anyone out there please learn from my mistakes. This is not an example of someone who loves you, likes you, or even cares about you. Not only did he put me in danger, he put a ten-month-old baby in danger. I allowed him to treat me like trash, to be tossed out on the side of the road. This isn’t the behavior of a partner, boy/girlfriend, spouse, friend, this is the behavior of an abuser. Nothing less.